Vigilante Superninja!

The other day I was out taking care of some business with my mom. I needed to finalize some registration forms for my summer classes, turn in a job application to a sketchy movie rental store, and do some grocery shopping. Now I did these things with my mother because I cannot drive. How old am I, you ask? Why I am over nineteen years old. Why can't I drive? Because Driver's Ed. is incredibly expensive in Chicago, and when you live in the city, it's more beneficial to use public transportation ("the L") than to be a part of the chaos that is driving. If you are thinking that this rationalization I just made is an excuse for my failing at life, then you are most likely correct, my friend. :)

Anyways! So as mom and I were driving around, we heard a strange crashing noise quickly followed by bouncing. We looked up just in time to realize that the car in front of us took off the entire side mirror, wires and all, of the car parked on the side of the road, and sped on. Now what happened next, I'm going to tell you in two different ways:

1) The way it really happened.

2) The way it should have happened.

As we were driving, we were in a strange state of shock and confusion. "Did that person honestly do that without stopping? Did we really witness that?" I turned to my mom and said, "Let's chase them down, I want their license plate number!" She looked at me, half intrigued and half doubting, but I think I won her over when I said, "We can be superheroes. Justice will be served!" because as soon as I said that she sped up. We were in a chase. People were honking at us, and when we looked at them, they looked as though they were honking in encouragement, so we hastily continued. We could tell that the lady (a.k.a. the criminal!) was getting nervous. She kept anxiously looking back, but we persevered! Finally, we got close enough so that I could read her license plate number. I really shouldn't be giving out random license plate numbers on the internet, but I'm going to give it to you anyways, because she was a criminal and that's what happens when you mess with the Law! Your license plate number is exploited online!

I wrote a note in black sharpie saying, "If you want justice for your mirror, the lady's license plate # is 'KUTSUN 1'" and we drove back to leave it on the victim's windshield under their wipers. When we arrived at our destination, the car was missing! I went to the house it was parked in front of, and it didn't belong to the owner of the house. I left the note with the lady that answered the door and she said that if she saw the car again, she would give him the note for me. Apparently, the man was sitting in the car when it happened!!! He followed behind us and was chasing the criminal down as well!

Now this is how it should have happened...

... We began to chase her down. We were swerving in between the lanes, epically gaining on her criminal ass. A semi-truck came out of nowhere and cut us off. I was set on serving up a big plate of Justice, and me being the ninja I am, climbed out of the window and onto the roof. We were going about 90 mph. I tumbled down and balanced on the windshield. When we got close enough to the semi-truck, I jumped from the hood of our car to the ladder hanging on the rear end of the semi-truck. I climbed that ladder and swiftly ran to the front of the truck, waiting for just the right moment. The lady was swerving from side to side in an attempt to lose us, but it was to no avail. At the right moment I leapt from the truck to the criminal's vehicle. I clung to the roof. She tried as hard as she could to break me from her get-away car, but I held on. I was determined. I kicked in the passenger window, and swung myself into the car. She was very scared and angry, for she knew that she had already lost the battle. I grabbed her shoulder and hit a pressure point, causing her to fall limp in her seat. The car swerved, but I quickly gained control of the vehicle and drove it to safety. I called the police and waited patiently. When they arrived, they found nothing but a note explaining in detail all that had happened. They took her into custody and Justice was served. When police tried to find the person who stopped the vehicle, there were no witnesses.

Why did nobody see me leaping from car to car? Why did nobody see me flee the scene once it was under control? I'll tell you why.


Because I'm a vigilante superninja.

THE END.